


Different

by VampyreWalker (VampireWalker)



Series: OTPtober BokuAka [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Flowers, Hospitals, M/M, OTPtober, Paranoid Bokuto Koutarou, Paranoid Personality Disorder, Suicide Attempt, Surgery, Trans Akaashi Keiji, Trans Character, mamostectomy, no beta we die like men, their family are bad, they are happy together, they help each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26955412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireWalker/pseuds/VampyreWalker
Summary: Akaashi was trying to be accepted for the way he saw himself, but the only one who really saw him like this was a stranger named Bokuto.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: OTPtober BokuAka [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948207
Kudos: 22





	1. Different (Angst)

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Diferentes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26955373) by [VampireWalker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireWalker/pseuds/VampireWalker). 



> OTPtober day 11: Angst/ Hurt/Comfort

Akaashi was trying to get over it, not identify with the sex he had been born with. He tried to change his name several times, but they still called him Keiko and he couldn't stand it anymore, he was saturated with these people who insisted on telling him that he was not a man but a girl, as if the sexual organ limited him only to that gender and automatically had to recognize himself as a woman.

When he thought about taking his life, he tried to cut himself several times in the bathroom but it was never deep enough to end it. Akaashi couldn't stand anymore to use those cutting objects which were useless, his next step would be to jump from somewhere and leave a letter of deep sadness of not being accepted by anyone. That squeezed his heart like some fruit to make a natural juice. Akaashi didn't want to continue living in a world where a living soul wouldn't see him as he wanted to be seen.

However, it was on this day that he met Bokuto, and it was the boy with grey hair who saved him from the suicide attempt when he wanted to jump off the building.

“What is your problem?” The question seemed sincere as well as the owner of the voice.

“I'm not Keiko, but my whole life I had to be because nobody accepts the real me,” Akaashi confessed, feeling the tears flowing down his face. He thanked so much for cutting his hair with a “manly” cut, as he heard his parents say just as he was not handsome as a lady. “I can't stand pretending to be what I am not anymore.”

“So come be what you are with me,” invited the stranger. “People don't accept my diagnosis either, they don't understand that this can be controlled by medicine, they think I'm crazy and that I will always be.” He gave a pause, as if thinking about how he should continue. “Society will never understand us, but we can understand each other. Do you want to be the Keiji of my Koutarou?”

Akaashi stopped, he had thought of several names like Keitarou, Tenma, Mamoru, among others, but he had never found one that identified himself and it was listening to a name from the mouth of others that realized what his real name was.

“Only if you are the Koutarou of my Keiji.”

This is how they began to walk together on the same journey, giving all the support they needed, defending each other. Keiji discovered that Koutarou was paranoid, having nights when he couldn't sleep thinking that someone was following him, would hurt him, sometimes even talking about killing him. With this, Keiji ended up discovering what was behind the diagnosis of paranoid personality disorder: Bokuto’s family was not one of the best, they totally abused their son's psychology and always chased him, saying that the world was no place for people like him to stay. Thanks to this coexistence, he ended up developing the disorder and became suspicious of everyone around him, Akaashi being the only one who didn't get a hundred percent.

His answer to this was “ _ you looked broken like me _ ”, he never failed to break the youngest's heart — he confirmed that when they decided to go to therapy and Akaashi had to fill out the forms.

The first months were difficult, every clear night thinking that they shouldn't always be there to haunt them, but the sweet words of psychologists and psychiatrists, telling them that they were not abnormal but that society still doesn't understand everything that is different from what they consider “normal”, calmed them down. They showed them that they don't need to be perfect for the world to accept them, but rather to be satisfied with who they are and follow life in search of a path that pleases them.

At that time, this had been quite disturbing for Keiji because of how he would be accepted if he did not even accept himself, especially that cursed body. How many times did Koutarou not have to stop Akaashi from hurting himself, from stopping trying to take his own life by hugging him, comforting him, always saying that he would be there for him.

And how many times Bokuto became paranoid, claiming to be being chased by his parents, that they found him and now they would kidnap him and take him away from the only person who understood him. Whenever this happened, Akaashi was there to comfort him, he would hug and kiss his whole face, showing him that he was with him and would never leave his side.

They knew they wouldn't be abandoned, especially when the feeling of love began to be part of their relationship. They didn't care if both family members were bad and didn't support them, they just needed each other to move on and that's what they would do.


	2. Amaryllis and Azaleas (Flowers)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OTPtober day 20: Flowers/Gifts

Akaashi had already been in that room for two days and he couldn't stand that white wall anymore. He wanted to know where his boyfriend was because until that moment he had not appeared that day. He was afraid of him being barred by the medical team for taking medications and they thought that Koutarou could hurt someone, so they would call the police to drag him, leaving Akaashi there alone longer until he could go out and look for him.

More catastrophic thoughts invaded his mind, Akaashi was already going crazy until he heard the door open and he looked there quickly, hoping to see that grayish black hair so that he could calm down because he knew that his heartbeat increased with nervousness. As soon as Akaashi saw the boy, he felt his body rest and he leaned back on the mattress, he hadn't realized that he had sat on the bed.

“I arrived,” Bokuto said, smiling. He was holding a bouquet of amaryllis and azaleas.

“Why the flowers?” Akaashi asked, bowing an eyebrow. He had found the colors beautiful.

“To congratulate you on the mastectomy, my love.” The smile increased on his face as he approached the bed. Koutarou delicately placed the bouquet on Keiji’s lap and took one of his hands. “To make it clear how much I admire you, how beautiful you are, and that I am happy for you.”

Bokuto kissed his hand delicately, looking at the blue eyes that were now wet. Slowly, Koutarou put Akaashi’s hand on his face and approached Keiji, gathering their foreheads after distributing several kisses on his face.

“How do you feel?”

“Finally myself.”

They smiled, they knew they would always be there to support and help each other because from the beginning, they were and will remain their Keiji and Koutarou.


End file.
